“Dreams Become Reality One Choice at a Time” – A Lesson on Life, Business, and Money

Isn’t that a fantastic quote?  I got it from Tara Beth Workman a few days ago and I’ve been thinking about it since.  I realize that it is entirely true and that my life is a reflection of that.  All of our lives are reflections of that.  Let me explain.

This afternoon, Aaron and I decided to take an impromptu trip to Hall’s department store because we were restless and wanted to get out of the office.  Turns out, we hit a major financial milestone so rewarded ourselves by spending just shy of $1,100.00 at the Creed fragrance counter.  We called an audible and determined that this reward was more important than finishing the book (no, I’m not going to tell you what it is) so that is why I chose to buy more after my purchase of Creed bois du portugal and Creed original vetiver the other day even though I was supposed to put it off until after the manuscript was complete.

Our Lives are the Sum Culmination of Our Past Choices

Years ago, I told my younger brother that every single choice we make either gets us one step closer to our goals or one step further away from our goals. For example, I am well off financially for a variety of reasons.  I also need to lose roughly 45 lbs. because I made some not-so-good choices and I eat very, very well at restaurants like Ruth’s Chris and such.  My present reality reflects those past choices; some good, some bad.

Small Things Make a Big Difference Over Time

Take the trip to Hall’s this afternoon.  It was part of the incentive system I was telling you guys about and why I’m able to get so much done even though I’m relatively young.  It started in college with small items from Hamilton Jewelers in New Jersey.  Even though dropping $1,100 may seem like a lot of cash for a few bottles of rare French cologne, it is less than a couple who smokes a pack of day spends in 5 weeks! Because we’ve bought bottles in the past, we now have thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of it at the office, as you can see from the picture (and that isn’t even all of them!).

Yet, the smoking couple would probably criticize me as a profligate or excessive, not realizing they are just as capable if it weren’t for their habit and that all of my purchases are tied to business success of much larger magnitude so it is mostly symbolic; a payoff for countless hours of work, giving up on going out with friends as we stay behind to solve some unexpected problem that stands in our way.

I don’t smoke, I very, very rarely drink alcohol, and I control costs like a Swiss Banker.  Only a few months ago, I switched over to more energy efficient light bulbs because I figured it saved us a few hundred dollars over the next couple of years!  Their choice to smoke drains their bank account whereas my lack of smoking and controlling of expenses means far more cash piles up over the course of the months and years.

Also, I still have never taken a single penny in salary from any of the businesses, because profits are for reinvestment!  None.  Zero salary.  That means I live on writing royalties and investment income.  In fact, I would bet money that I live on less cash per year than most of the people who are reading this right now.  Why?

• I avoided debt early in life so I don’t have a lot of fixed payments.
• I force myself to live on roughly what a public school teacher earns a year and reinvest everything else.
• The businesses always comes first.  Back in the early days, if we needed new computers and it meant I didn’t eat, that was how it was.  The companies were more important than my needs.
• I shove as much money as possible into retirement accounts for the tax deductions.  My favorite is the SEP-IRA, which has far higher contribution limits than other plans.  In fact, I can’t even touch most of the money I’ve built up because it won’t be available until the time I’m 59 1/2 years old according to IRS rules.
• As I mentioned above, I control costs ruthlessly.  Even our light bulb brand choices are studied.

ALL OF THESE ARE DECISIONS I’VE MADE TOWARD ONE, SINGULAR GOAL: TO BECOME OBSCENELY, OFFENSIVELY RICH.  I am no better than any of you and that is why I have desperately tried share everything I’ve learned over the years … there are folks who make $36,000 a year yet have millions of dollars living better than others who make $150,000 and are almost on the edge of bankruptcy because they are leaking money everywhere, from $300 cable bills to giant Cadillac Escalades that will depreciate in value.  Building wealth has very little to do with how much you make but more about how much you keep.

Long before my parents became successful and wealthy, I grew up in a tiny house and there was hardly any money at all for anything.  In fact, I honestly don’t how my parents raised us and started their business at the same time.  Still, I knew that most of the wealth in the United States was made first-generation and very little of it inherited so I set out to discover how that was possible and they encouraged me every step of the way.  It’s been a rough journey at times (in Buffett’s words, there have been days I feel like a “bird that flew into the middle of a badminton match”) but it has been worth it.  God willing, I cannot even imagine how far along I’ll be ten years from now and I’ll still be relatively young.

Your goals don’t even have to be about money … they can be about a career, family, lifestyle, wardrobe, project … virtually anything that you can dream is possible.  After all, who would have believed the Wright Brothers when they thought that someday a several-ton pile of metal could soar through the air like a bird?

Learning from Others Around You

Furthermore, Aaron and I were smart enough to surround ourselves with friends and family who were the same way.  Most of the people in our day-to-day life don’t want to be on the blog now that the page views are exploding so we’re going to go back to our college years.  Some are only a once-a-year-phone calls, others we speak with daily, but I chose people whom I think can be an interesting cross-section to illustrate the point that life is shaped by choices; even those with whom we fall out of touch taught us something, though we may no longer be close.

• Joseph Woodhull got in a car with his girlfriend and traveled across the United States, leaving New York and moving to Portland to pursue his dream of freelancing.  Most people are too scared to leave the area where they grew up, let alone leave a job and pursue a passion to let them have the type of life they want.  His courage is inspiring.

• Karen Ashe threw all of her belongings in a car and drove to Florida to apply for a job at the Walt Disney Company, where she now works.  Again, she just went for it knowing that failure was possible but determining the dream was worth the risk.  Not only does she have the courage to follow her dreams, she has the talent. If she told me that one day she would be CEO of the company, I’d believe it.  It’s been seven years since we’ve seen her in person

• Ashly and Ian Francis-Vallimont overcame personal and family obstacles, put themselves through college, and just make great decisions about life.  If they were to walk into my office tomorrow and tell me the Pacific Ocean had turned orange, I would believe it on faith alone because that is part of their character.  Ashly is taking some well-deserved time off after working for a major bank and Ian is a newly minted nuclear engineer.  They did this on their own through hard work and choices.  It just makes Aaron and I proud to be friends with them.

• Gilberto Gomez moved to Mexico, found love, lost 50 lbs., took up ballroom dancing, became an aerobics instructor, did nude yoga, and just … lives.  The stories of Gil from college literally get my grandmother laughing so hard she cries.  He is like a fabulous, Hispanic version of Auntie Mame.  When and if he has kids, they are going to have the coolest life anyone could ever imagine.

• Kelsey, My Sister: She left Missouri, became a flight attendant for Jet Blue, traveled the country, met new people, lived in Boston, moved to New York and was fearless about it.  She had great stories from her travels, learned how to manage her money, and began investing in her early twenties.  It was a huge accomplishment when she had saved enough to buy her first share of Berkshire Hathaway through a retirement account back in the day.

• Caleb, My Brother: He had more discipline than anyone his age I know, saved virtually all of his income during his six-year contract in the United States Air Force, and by 30 years old, will be set for life.  It simply would not be possible for me to be any prouder of him.  He will be one of those guys pulling down $400,000 a year and playing golf all day not because society tells him to but because it is what he wants for his own life.

• Gabe, My Cousin: Is traveling Asia right now, after graduating from one of the best law schools in the world, William & Mary.  His tales from China, Thailand, and India are great.  He’s seen more of the world than most people do in a lifetime, and yet he still has an amazing career ahead of him as he is planning on clerking for a judge upon his return.

• My Dad: Went back to college and graduated at 50 years old because he wanted to finish what he had started during his youth.  Very few people go back and correct things that they want to do differently.

These really are just a handful of examples.  Aaron and I feel so extraordinarily lucky and blessed to have surrounded ourselves with people like this, even if we only knew them for a few weeks or even when they haven’t been in our lives for years, because we are able to study, analyze, and learn from their correct decisions and mistakes.  We were paying attention.  You need to do the same thing in your own life.

Going beyond that, when it comes to incredibly close friends (of which Aaron and I have five or six, most of whom we talk to several times a week) it is vital that you fill your life with people who are always on your side – that doesn’t mean they will always agree with you, but they will always believe in you. Business and life are hard enough.  If you have to deal with the people in your home and inner circle constantly belittling your dreams, it is just one more obstacle that you’ve allowed to take root.  It is completely unnecessary.

Something Like 1 in 24 Americans Is a Millionaire

In fact, I was having a discussion with one of my About.com readers the other day who was absolutely infuriated over the fact that I pointed out she lived in a nation where 1 out of 24 or so people were millionaires.  She insisted that it wasn’t possible.  I tried to tell her that the average American millionaire lives in a house valued at less than $300,000, drives a Toyota, has worked in the same job for decades, is married with children, is a college graduate, and has no outward signs of money. People have been brainwashed by shows like MTV Cribs.  They now believe if you aren’t dropping $800 on a pair of shoes you must not be rich.  It is an illusion!  Most of those folks end up broke.  Haven’t you watched the biography channel or read the news?

Given that each of us knows an average of 250 people really well (not recognizes, but knows in our own, personal lives), that means that an average person knows something like 10 or 11 millionaires.  Most of these people are “stealth wealth” so not even their friends know.  In fact, they could live in trailers, not have cars, and shop only at garage sales.  You must unlearn what the media has taught you!

Everything Begins as a Dream … Everything

We live in the greatest country in the history of the world when it comes to free market opportunities.  If you can come up with a good enough idea and sell it, you could be on QVC making tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars six months from now.  McDonald’s, Wal-Mart, Berkshire Hathaway, Coca-Cola, Tiffany & Company, Barnes & Noble, Amazon.com, Yahoo, Google, Microsoft, Apple … all of these were ideas that individual men and women dreamed into existence then figured out how to have them generate profits.  Sam Walton was made of the same elements you are … carbon, hydrogen, oxygen … he was a human living in this nation that took an idea and turned a tiny five-and-dime into a firm doing roughly half a trillion dollars in annual sales in less than 50 years.

Find out what you want to do with your life, what will make you sing every morning when you wake up.  Figure out how to make that occupation pay you money (in other words, provide some service or product that people find valuable enough they are willing to trade you their cash for it).  Then, scale it up so you can afford the lifestyle you want.  For some, all that requires is a fishing cabin and a sailboat.  For others, it may be a Park Avenue penthouse.  No one can determine that but you.  The thing is, if they did it, why can’t you?  The great thing about America is if we succeed or fail, it is entirely our fault short of “black swan” events (e.g., getting run over by a bus or having major family health problems early in a career).

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