I was reading a blog called Stuff Christian Culture Likes (as someone who grew up in that culture, believe me, it’s spot-on and funny), and one of the comments left by someone named Bebe pointed out a very interesting fact that most of my Christian friends ignore:
[By the way] is anyone aware that the Bible gives examples of eight different types of marriage covenants without condemnation? That is, one man plus one woman; one man plus more than one woman; one man plus one or more women and concubine(s); one man plus one woman plus her female property/slave; one man slave/one woman slave; one man rapist plus his female victim (bought and paid for); one male soldier and his female POW; and one man plus his dead brother’s wife. Yet today we have only one form which we approve and endorse. Of course, plenty of Christians will say how these are Old Testament hook-ups, so they don’t apply to the New Testament Christians. Yet Jesus came to fulfill the Law, so Christians can’t really just ignore everything before the Gospels because doing so denies the truth God gave to the Jews, who remain his chosen people. And, after all, inerrancy means that the whole salad bar is to be eaten, not just the olives and the cucumbers.
So, going back to the horseshoe political theory, if someone’s going to demand that gays can’t get married, then damn it, as a Christian man, I’m going to insist on my biblical right to a wife plus a massive harem of concubines. Yep. It’s my prerogative. I have spoken with my scepter of pure awesomeness.
Seriously, though, I’m getting tired of this conversation at dinner parties and political fundraisers. I keep getting asked whether I support ENDA. Of course I support ENDA – why the hell would I care if my web coders are transgendered if they get the job done and build my empire? Seriously? What kind of weak-mined nut jobs think this is problem? If I knew a team of SEO specialists that could get me to the #1 spot in Google for the new products we’re launching at the luxury gift store, I don’t care if they want to come in to the office and re-enact Priscilla Queen of the Desert as they craft their HTML, ASP, and PHP. Honestly, if they did it, I’d buy them a performance stage as a perk.
Don’t people have more important things to think about during the day?
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