The stupid. It burns. It burns badly. Farleigh Dickenson University did a survey, asking 9 questions of its sample. On average, Fox viewers could answer only 2, NPR listeners 3.5. I wondered, “How hard could this test be?” so I found the questions online.
These were ridiculously easy. Maybe all is lost and I’m hanging out in Tyre before the great fall, oblivious to the ignorance around me.
The Farleigh Dickenson University Survey
Question 1. To the best of your knowledge, have the opposition groups protesting in Egypt been successful in removing Hosni Mubarak?
Uh. Yes. And they think his family is hiding billions in wealth that was stolen from the Egyptian people during his time at the head of the government. This was huge news at the time.
Question 2. How about the opposition groups in Syria? Have they been successful in removing Bashar al-Assad?
Seriously? The European papers are constantly complaining about his wife’s shopping trips at the best retail boutiques in the world as he continues to run the government. The stories are always accompanied by pictures of her wearing something from Hermes or Cartier or Louis Vuitton. No. He’s still there.
Question 3. Some countries in Europe are deeply in debt, and have had to be bailed out by other countries. To the best of your knowledge, which country has had to spend the most money to bail out European countries?
If you read this blog, you should know the answer to this. Phone a friend? It’s a super industrious people who make fantastic cars and serve up their bailouts mit bier und wienerschnitzel.
Question 4. There have been increasing talks about economic sanctions against Iran. What are these sanctions supposed to do?
Hmm… I’ll give you a clue. The objective is to stop them from getting the very thing I used on Aaron’s kingdom in Civilization V a few nights ago before marching Giant Death Robots on his capitol. You can probably guess by the black pillaging towers of smoke, the radiated ground glowing red with the fires of nuclear destruction.
Question 5. Which party has the most seats in the House of Representatives right now?
Well, John Boehner is the current Speaker of the House so I’m going with Republicans, Alex.
Question 6. In December, House Republicans agreed to a short-term extension of a payroll tax cut, but only if President Obama agreed to do what?
+100 Internets to Gilvus in the comments section! I read the original question in my head as the December 2010 original debate over the payroll tax cut, which dealt with maintaining the lower top marginal rate on personal income taxes, not the December 2011 extension, which involved the Keystone pipeline.
Question 7. It took a long time to get the final results of the Iowa caucuses for Republican candidates. In the end, who was declared the winner?
That little fascists Rick Santorum by something like six votes.
Question 8. How about the New Hampshire Primary? Which Republican won that race?
Question 9. According to official figures, about what percentage of Americans are currently unemployed?
Roughly double the ideal structural rate so it is somewhere around 8% to 9% bouncing around depending on the most recent revised figures. It’s closer to the lower end of that at the present but I don’t recall the precise figure of the most recent update. (Edit: I had to look it up. It was 8.1%)
The Ship Is Sinking
I’m in the middle of several big projects at the office, the home renovations still aren’t done, I am weeks behind on personal stuff and I still know all of this. If the average American could only answer 2 to 3.5 of those questions, this sucker is doomed. The Republic is going to hell. Get me out of here.