I Forgot How Much I Loathe Don Draper in Mad Men
While I’ve been working the past week or so, I’ve wanted some background noise so I loaded Netflix and began watching the 5th season of Mad Men, which I hadn’t started, yet. I forgot how much I truly hate Don Draper. I feel … contempt. I loathe – that’s a rare sentiment for me but accurate, loathe – everything about him; how he treats people, how he betrays, without knowledge or consent, the women to whom he has made a commitment and whom love him, how he refuses to open himself up to others about his past or live in any sort of authentic or honest way with his family.
Joan is easily my favorite character. I hate seeing her intelligence and talent undervalued and under-compensated.
He is a case study of terrible behavior, self-destructive morality, and arrogant oppression being glossed over because he is successful at what he does. Even his affection for his children is constantly overwhelmed with the impression that they are a damned nuisance that are somehow distracting him from more important matters. Saying goodbye to them, you always hear this, “Bye … just acknowledge it so I can run.”
There is nothing “manly” about him. He is a coward. He is so terrified of being honest about anything, about facing rejection for who he really is, that he’s erected this enormous facade of falsehood.
He is a man who, by the end of his life, will be celebrated but not loved. That’s a miserable failure to me.
I know I live in a bubble, but I find it hard to believe so many people cheat on their spouses, so many people get drunk before noon, so many people keep secrets from their family, and so many people are prejudiced and bigoted when the door closes but refuse to say it to someone’s face. The private you and the public you should be identical. That’s part of living an integrated, healthy life. That doesn’t mean telling people about your personal matters if it isn’t their concern, but, rather, being consistent in what you say, how you act, and what you believe.
And it’s a travesty that Joan’s mind is wasted when she should be running a logistics company with the talent she has. Thank God for the first wave of feminism that made is possible for people like her to run Fortune 500 empires. Perhaps I’m sensitive to it because I know how frustrating it can be to live in a nation or society that doesn’t value your contribution because of some intrinsic characteristic such as your race, gender, or sexual orientation. The United States is by no means perfect but compared to even 60 years ago, we’re a paradise. It’s strange to think but I realize whenever I’m watching one of these older shows that I couldn’t have been a member of society. I would have been kicked out of the Mad Men office and shunned; a social pariah in every sense of the word.
It is a great show, though. The attention to detail, down to the cereal boxes, is a work of art. The acting is suburb. The character development wonderful. I don’t want a lot of television (the average American spends 27 hours a week doing it, whereas I prefer to put my entertainment hours into reading or video games so I monitor it fairly tightly) but it’s been a long time since I’ve seen a show as well thought out or executed as this.
Reader Comments (10)
Comments are presented chronologically, with replies indented beneath the comments to which they respond.
Sean
April 22, 2013
I agree, but I was disappointed that they just swept the whole Peggy and Pete thing under the rug like it simply didn't happen. That plot line doesn't exist despite what they created.
Joshua Kennon
April 24, 2013
Replying to Sean
Imagine when it does come back up ... that is going to be explosive!
africansun
April 23, 2013
I love mad men and I agree Don Draper is a strange man, but you have to put it in a contest of where he came from.Don is a self made man, and to get where he is, he had to sacrifice alot...while it's no excuse, sometimes I feel like the pursuit of one goal e.g financial independence takes away from other things..and actually the good thing about Don is that while he is not perfect, he struggles to be a good man, even though his innate self always leads him to trouble, but he tries to be as moral as he can be....perfect example is when he chooses not to side with everyone on getting Joan to do some immoral stuff for Jaguar, he supports his wife and exwife but he is in a constant battle with his past, which makes him certainly a flawed man....but so are most people...
Kyle
April 23, 2013
I agree with africansun. There's a big difference between Don Draper and Pete Campbell. Pete is an arrogant, self-aggrandizing man-child who hasn't experienced life problems (other than those self-inflicted). Don is in a constant state of self-loathing and conflict. He's not a good man, and the show honestly reflects that. But, I think most viewers have a sort of respect for Don despite, not because, of his flaws.
Joshua Kennon
April 24, 2013
Replying to Kyle
I normally cannot stand violence, but from the beginning, I have had this overwhelming urge to punch Pete Campbell in the face. It's satisfying seeing so many people, from coworkers to train conductors, do it so frequently. And what makes it even more interesting is that he's not being that way solely to irritate others; he hates his life. Pete is miserable. He seems like a worn down animal, trapped in a carefully planned cage from childhood to adulthood, wanting nothing more to be free and independent but not having a clue how to do it. I think he craves respect, admiration, and validation, which he isn't getting anywhere in his life.
James
April 24, 2013
If I'm going to spend effort in loathing someone or something, it won't be on a fictional character created by Hollywood writers.
Joshua Kennon
April 24, 2013
Replying to James
That's a shame. I would imagine most of the great works of art throughout history - music, opera, stage plays, literature, paintings, sculptures - are lost on you as one of their primary purposes is to evoke an emotion that causes self-reflection in order to live better when it really counts.
James
April 25, 2013
Replying to Joshua Kennon
You imagine incorrectly. Let's be more precise: rather than loathing Don Draper, who does not exist, the character of Don Draper *reminds* you of certain human personality traits that you loathe. Better?
Erika
June 13, 2013
I completely agree with everything you said! I try not to let it, but it does bother me how so many viewers seem to make excuses for Don. Yes, he had a troubled past and nobody deserves what he went through. However, your actions and choices in life make up the person you are. (I.e.; If you are abused or molested as a child, it doesn't make it okay to abuse/rape others just because you had a horrific past. You still CHOSE to do something wrong and that is no one's fault but your own.) Based on what we've seen from Don throughout the seasons my opinion is: that he has become somewhat entitled due to being in a position of power in his advertising firm, he wants to but does not care about (or have any regard for) the women in his life, and I truly think he is a weak person.
Before criticizing me, please know that I do STILL realize that he has good qualities like intelligence, great leadership skills, and dashing good looks! But that doesn't make up for the destructive habits he has formed. Honestly, I just think Don Draper is a coward and I really do pity him.
jerkstores
August 12, 2013
I agree, "pity" is the right word for Don. I'm not a fan of his wife, either. As much as Don put his wife through, the way she behaved with the divorce was totally selfish.
None of the characters are likable. Not even Peggy (angry, somewhat passive aggressive, involvement with extremists) or Joanie (sleeping with married men). I suppose the most likable person on the show may be Mr Hughes, or was his name Mr Cooper? I haven't been able to catch the show in a while still waiting on Netfilx to add more episodes.